mother of one for a day

Let me preface this entry with the fact that I love my three and a half year old to pieces. More than I can say. I'm crazy about her and she makes me laugh and breaks my heart almost every day. However, she's been busy with relatives for most of today and yesterday and I've had a very sweet time with little Eli. There are so many things that I rush through, with him being Child No. 2 and for the past 48 hours, I've tried to slow down and just enjoy watching him. I don't think I've complained out loud more than twice about having to rescue him from under a chair, grab him just before he enters the fireplace, or remove various objects from his mouth. I've given him my undivided attention while he shows me how he can push Anna's dolls in her grocery cart back and forth from the bathroom to the hall. About 50 times. I've taken more time just watching him and talking to him. And he's reciprocated. He's been much more snuggly. It's as if he realized he has me all to himself and is taking advantage of every minute.

Some moms handle having more than one child with grace. A grace that I long to achieve someday. I still haven't gotten over the shift of focus from one child to two. The mental exhaustion that comes from juggling my thoughts around two (a walking baby that's always inches from getting into a fix and a three year old with your common three year old meltdowns and expectations for me to be in character half the day--from Peter Pan to Ma Ingalls) is just not easing up.

So I revel in my one-on-one time with my children because I feel like they finally get to be with the Real Me. The Me that I miss and hope returns sometime soon. Maybe with Eli's coming birthday, I'll feel a sense of accomplishment and gratefulness that will push me over into a more hopeful, graceful era. And the fact that he's slept past 7am these past two mornings, isn't hurting one little bit. I want this rest and renewal for myself, but I also want it for my family. They need me to be joyful.

Our yard

One thing I have been working hard on is our yard and my various little flower beds. It's something I enjoy so much and if I was able to devote even a tenth of the energy I spend just thinking about gardening to the actual practice of doing it, I'd probably have a rose named after me by now. I love that it's something I can work on in bits and pieces and not feel like I'm working towards completion exactly. I can put Eli in his porch swing and pull weeds for 5 minutes and feel really good. **Look carefully at the middle photo. This smidgen of work doesn't leave me with a table full of half-finished projects. There's not a lot of planning or cleaning up to do afterwards. It's perfect. And I realize it's something I do almost completely for my own enjoyment. While it would be nice to receive a few compliments on my yard, it occurred to me that I hardly ever do, but the fact that this just now occurred to me must be a good sign. In one way.

A little history of our yard. (Hold on to your hats--what excitement!!) We bought our house in the fall of 2001 and the following spring/early summer, we discovered a leaky exterior water pipe. This led to some grueling work for Matt: digging in the hot sun. Digging maybe 5 feet down to reach the pipe in question. And digging from the house to the middle of the yard, straight across and under the central steps, creating a path (or trench) of mud and destruction. It wasn't a spectacular yard to begin with, just grass, a border of liriope, and some redtips. I was holding my breath for a few flowering surprises that first spring, but was left with just a single pincushion flower in the back (which returned two weeks ago, with a partner, for the first time since 2002!). Our front yard is on the small side so since about a fourth of it was now dug up and a good third of the grass was gone, we decided to go ahead and essentially start over. With the help of my parents, we got rid of all the grass, planted two red maples, and an assortment of shrubs and flowers. I'd give just about anything to go back in time and make some different choices as to plant type or placement. (i.e WHY 2 maples and not a crabapple or a dogwood?) But I'm very happy that our work has paid off and since I've added to it every spring and fall, we now have a happy assortment of plants. Here are the highlights:

Shrub that makes my nose the happiest: Tea Olive (Osmanthus fragrans). I grew up with this smell greeting me outside our carport door. I LOVE this smell. Oddly, Matt can't smell it at all!

Most surprising: I had no idea the Butterfly Bush would grow so tall, so fast. It takes up a large chunk of the front corner and I wish I could be Mary Poppins and just point my finger and magically move it somewhere else (in addition, my daughter would be very pleased with this coveted trait).

Most dear: My daylilies don't do a lot of blooming, but they have a good story to tell. They were transplanted from my parents yard, straight from the pet cemetery. I like to think that I have a bit of Patches, Wags, Daisy, Allie, Hobo, Hobo II, Hobo III, Big Eyes, and many goldfish in my patch of green daylily leaves.

Thriving: Several guaras. They're taller than me and add so much life to the front yard this year.

Brand New: The Good Ol' Summertime rosebush given to me by three sweet friends, in memory of my grandmother. It produced its first blossom last week!

Lately Added: Tigerlily bulbs straight from the yard of a 91 year old watchmaker from Macon. (And Anna's "best friend.") Also added: creeping phlox, thyme, blue plumbago, more salvia.

Most Changed: What were once blue hydrangeas turned pink shortly after we learned our first child was to be a girl.

Questionable: The beautiful rosebush given to me by a dear family a few birthdays ago. It's leaves often get nibbled at.

Strangely commemorative: The Cecil Breuner climbing rose which happened to get planted the day of my really bad car accident last May, maybe the scariest day of my life.

Goners: Two oakleaf hydrangeas, one broadleaf hydrangea, one pee-wee hydrangea, one camelia, and countless perennials. (I didn't do enough research about how these would hold up in our hot afternoon sun).

I could go on but since I've put my few readers to sleep, I will stop. Thank you for indulging me.

strawberry cake

apparently, amy has received numerous requests for this recipe. and since i've been feeling way too in over my head with daily life, this gives me incentive to re-learn how to log into my blogger account (so sad) and write a quick post.

i had to remember where i was when amy called for the recipe. oh yes, giving one of the kids a bath. so i retraced my steps and there was the recipe card, in a basket next to the bathtub.

this recipe comes from my mom's very good friend, carol, who she grew up with in florida. at a young age, carol started cooking for her family of 7 and this dessert apparently was made a good bit as it became a favorite of my mom's. in carol's recipe book, she even has my mom's name written next to this cake. when i asked my mom the history of the cake, she got a little choked up telling me that part. and my mom never forgets where a recipe comes from and gives credit where credit is due every time she makes something, even if it's on a weekly basis: "we're having maxine's rice with sue's good salad tonight" is commonly heard.

without further ado, here's how it reads on the recipe written up by my mom:

HERE'S WHAT'S COOKIN': STRAWBERRY JELLO CAKE
RECIPE FROM: MOM

(BEST TO MAKE A DAY OR 2 AHEAD) * i've never made it more than a day ahead*

1 BOX WHITE OR STRAWBERRY CAKE MIX *we love using strawberry cake mix*
1 CUP OIL
4 EGGS
10 OUNCES FROZEN STRAWBERRIES *here's where amy recommends the real thing*
(5 OZ FOR CAKE; 5 OZ FOR FROSTING)
3 OUNCES STRAWBERRY JELLO

STIR OIL IN CAKE MIX. LIGHTLY BEAT EGGS AND ADD TO CAKE MIX.
STIR IN 5 OZ OF STRAWBERRIES.
MIX IN DRY JELLO.
BAKE IN 2 CAKE PANS 25-30 MINUTES AT 350.
COOL AND FROST.

FROSTING:
1 POUND CONFECTIONERY SUGAR
1/4 POUND SOFT BUTTER (1 STICK)
1/8 TEASPOON SALT
1 TEASPOON VANILLA
3-4 TABLESPOON JUICE FROM STRAWBERRIES

BEAT SUGAR AND BUTTER TOGETHER. ADD SALT AND VANILLA AND JUICE. ADD DRAINED STRAWBERRIES. FROST. REFRIGERATE.

i've served this cake at each of my daughter's three birthdays. i suppose it's our tradition now. i think the close-up is actually from my husband's birthday, though, since he's also quite a fan. i began putting the sweet little birds on top at anna's first birthday, loving how they looked with the pink. and what do you know, they were a gift from amy.

enjoy the yummy cake!

night night

i like how this photo conveys the dreamy softness of the nightgown. don't look too closely at the handiwork. and try to ignore the SLEEVES. do you see how gigantic the are? but the glorious thing is that i made them! once the pieces were cut out, you should have seen me trying to match them up to the body of the dress. even while sewing the second one together, i was sure there was a good chance i'd done it wrong. it just sorta muddled up my head for some reason. thank goodness warm weather is here and i can make some sleeveless tops.

lately

Alright, I realize that lots, maybe even most, of the online journalists whose sites I visit have children and still seem to get lots of brilliant things done. But I don't seem to fall into that category. My littlest is already 9 months old, but I feel like I'm still going through my days like the mother of a newborn. So few things get accomplished without it being in teeny little increments spread out over the day. And those things are just laundry and dishes and getting the kids fed and bathed and dressed and fed again. So I'm trying not to be so hard on myself about the lack of creative projects going on around here. And I know that I don't have to wait until I complete something in order to post, but I don't get around to doing much done at the computer right now either. A pair of tiny hands likes to crawl up next to me and push on the keys when he sees me typing. And a pair of three year old eyes spots me sitting down with the laptop and begins to request various videos or pictures she wants to see. I can't very well say, "Hang on, Mama has to write about how much stuff she has to do."

Moving on, I am eager to sew a few skirts and maybe a dress or two for Anna very soon. I decided I'd begin with a nightgown since she's eager for a new one and it's a good way to get some sewing practice in without putting too much pressure on myself. I wanted something super soft and lightweight. I was having trouble coming up with the right fabric and then finally came upon an old dress in my studio outside that's hanging around with a collection of household goods we got when cleaning out an estate for a friend of a friend. (We scored with that deal---even got paid for getting all of the amazing goodies out of the house!). So I took the old dress and did a lot of cutting and used the soft, soft, pale sea-green fabric for the nightgown and I worked in some elastic around the neckline for the first time. I sewed that part by hand, mostly in the car on various family excursions. Anna put it on yesterday and although she really likes it (which makes it successful in my mind) it looks like it's made for someone twice her size. I'm going to have to do a little nipping and tucking and hopefully I'll figure out a way to do this which will allow for me to undo my tailoring so that she really can wear it when she's twice her present size. **I'll have to wait til later to add a photo**

3 baby gifts

photo no. 1: i l*o*v*e this fabric. i ordered it from someone off etsy and now can't remember who. (the baby was sleeping and the bib is sorta big, so sometimes you have to do everything yourself.)

photo no. 2: this burp cloth was made from things i had on hand: a white flannel crib sheet and my favorite bird fabric. the back is made from a receiving blanket (see photo no. 3). the bird pocket was a last-minute decision but i'm happy with it. what's that? did you ask what one puts into a pocket on a burp cloth? oops, running out of time and must move on to photo no. 3!

photo no. 3: teeny bib made from soft soft receiving blanket. this blanket was one from a pack that i'd received for the second baby and i really really didn't need any more receiving blankets. but i thought, maybe i'll do something with them one day; perhaps a gift? and usually that just results in another bag of stuff sitting around waiting for me to do something with it. but this time, this time, i made good and i've used that polka-dot blanket for about 4 different projects already. hurray!

i suppose i should have photographed the snaps but they're not visually exciting. just snaps. and don't mind the pointedness of the second bib. anna likes to step on the pedal of the sewing maching and have me say, "Okay, go!" and then, "Stop!" sometimes, her foot stops a few seconds after my command and there are a few hints of this throughout. oh well.

with love from finland

fevers and croupy coughs have been haunting us for a while around here, but in between, i was able to throw together a few things to make me feel a little less unproductive. we were the happy recipients of a collection of dollhouse furniture from finland last week and when anna asked me to make blankets and pillows for the bed, instead of just talking about it and never following through, i went straight to the sewing machine and let her pick out fabric and push the pedal and even pull some stuffing out of the open cushion on the chair that really needs a foam insert rather than the leaking stuffing that she's always tempted to pull out. soon we had made the little wooden beds much more inviting. she and her daddy have been sketching out ideas for a dollhouse that he will soon make her. and now i'm on the lookout for some dollhouse figures that are halfway cute. they're all so creepy! there are a few from magic cabin that are okay but they're nearly $20 a piece! but even without a house or proper dollhouse people, anna is having fun with her new toys, setting up tiny teaparties for whoever will fit in the little chairs, arranging the pieces to resemble our house, and making up stories.

i also finally conquered the task of setting snaps in the bibs i made for a friend's baby. i never figured out the snap-setter tool that i once used years ago. so i pulled out an old wooden spool and a hammer and after two attempts, got the snaps in place and they look...real. and i finished up a burp cloth to go along with it. i'll post pictures tomorrow, God willing.

did i mention that i cast on 40 stitches while standing with an almost-20 pound baby on my hip the other day?

that's all for my accomplishments as of late. but i had to list them so i'd feel a little more upbeat about our recent state around here, getting so little sleep and always needing more from the store and barely getting dressed by dinner. i'm hoping for a week of healing.