found him

last week, i unveiled a thrift store find that had been packed away in the closet for the past 18 months or so: a simple little raggedy ann get-up with a pinafore-type top and white bloomers. prior to this, anna had never heard of raggedy ann and andy. within minutes, she WAS raggedy ann and wore this costume to prove it for the next 3 days. i pulled out a few old books and over the course of a week or so, we read story by story. i told her about the old raggedy andy doll i used to play with and asked my mom to look for him. she looked but said he wasn't there. so today we went for a visit and i retraced her steps and did my own looking. i was sure i'd seen him in the past 5 years. i went out to The Barn, which isn't really a proper barn, just a building which used to house my grandfather's gem shop but now is the holding area for cast-offs from about 8 various individuals. there are so many treasures out there that often my favorite birthday and christmas presents come from The Barn. i often spend lots of time out there during my visits home, sorting through our old toys, picking out things of mine that are now ready to be passed on, and wondering why in the world my parents have saved So Much Stuff. (and then realizing from where that habit of mine comes.) the thing that gets me is their stuff is orderly. they take care when they save their junk. a beat up old beach raft that is sure to be disentegrating is stored in its original box. a cheap, dirty fish acquarium still has some accessories stored inside and just a little bit of fish food that we didn't use up before Big Eyes jumped out and landed behind the buffet in the dining room. broken space heaters have their cords neatly wound up and old mattresses are stacked according to size. i'm at a point in my life where useless belongings make me feel sorta sick. they overwhelm me. even though all this stuff behind my parents house is miles away from me, i found myself making plans to get out there with boxes and bags this summer and head towards the thrift store. (but why would that be any easier than tackling my own attic?)

but back to the search. i escaped The Barn and went back inside to my old closet and ignored my mom's reminder that she'd already looked there. i was too hasty to drag in a chair so i reached up to the highest shelves, straining every muscle in my neck and shoulders, meanwhile trying to keep a 7 month old occupied at my feet, and i brushed past many a cabbage patch kid until i finally saw him, sitting upright with a big smile on his worn, cotton face. after looking him over, i quickly found a good place for him to hide until anna came home from visiting great-grandmother next door and we played the hot-cold game until she found discovered him. then it was her turn to look him over and compare him to the pictures in the book as i made my own comparisons. i couldn't help but to think of the bit in Johnny Gruelle's description of "How Raggedy Andy Came" where "Daddy" receives a nice, soft lumpy package and opens it to find Raggey Andy "with his soft, loppy legs folded over his soft, loppy arms." And how once he propped Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy up to face eachother, they just sat there and smiled at each other. And "Yes! There was lump in Raggedy Ann's throat, and there was a lump in Raggedy Andy's throat. A cotton lump, to be sure, but a lump nevertheless."